Real Life Wisdom: A Conversation About Risk, Sobriety, and What Matters

I sat down with someone who's learned life's biggest lessons the hard way — through taking risks, facing failures, getting sober, and figuring out what really matters. This conversation reminded me why I started Positive Andy in the first place: real people have the best wisdom.

Here's what we talked about.

What's the best advice you ever got?

I can't remember who told me this, but it stuck with me: Don't go through life saying "I wish I would have" or "I wish I could have."

If you're gonna do it, do it. If you try and fall on your face, at least you tried. But if you succeed? Even better.

What would you tell your younger self?

Live your life to the best of your abilities because you don't know if tomorrow's promised or not. Do everything you can.

It's like that old Jim Carrey movie Yes Man — say yes to everything. Do that volunteer work. Go to that play someone invites you to. Do that stupid thing. Just do everything you possibly can.

Don't say no to a lot of things. But it's also okay to say no when you need to. Know your boundaries.

What keeps you going when things get hard?

Knowing that it'll eventually work its way out. We all have tough days, but you have to have believe in something — believe in what you're doing, a strong purpose. That could be family, your wife, the people around you.

There are others around you who expect you to do well, so at the very least expect something good for yourself. That keeps me going.

If you could give the world one piece of advice, what would it be?

Live your life to the fullest. Do everything you can, because tomorrow's never promised.

I could walk outside right now and get hit by a bus. Some days people go to sleep and they don't wake up. One of my best friends — Evan Smith — was battling MS. He had a diabetic seizure in his sleep and never woke up. 26 years old.

You never know. So live.

What's something you learned the hard way?

Work really hard at everything you do. If you half-ass something, you're gonna get half-ass results.

Anything worth doing is worth overdoing, and moderation's for cowards.

I read about Jerry Jones once. He said everything he's ever been successful at, he had to overdo it. That's what I believe too.

What's the biggest risk you've ever taken?

Professionally, leaving a job I was pretty good at and going into a completely different sector — from IT into construction. I worked with two brothers who had a fledgling company, and they needed someone to help get it off the ground.

You gotta take risks. I could have fallen flat on my face. And honestly, I kind of did — COVID hit, work dried up, and I was unemployed for four or five months. But eventually I found another job.

But that's life. When you're down, you gotta keep going forward. I was still dating my girlfriend at the time, and she still had her job. I couldn't put all that on her. I couldn't rely on my mom and dad to help financially. That's why I had to keep going.

What are you most proud of?

Professionally, helping my team build one of the most successful offices in Richmond — being one of the top ten in the whole country out of like 50 offices.

Personally, I'm proud that I have a loving family. An awesome mom and dad. Great cousins. We're all close, we're all in each other's lives.

I'm proud that I got to go to college and experience everything I did — athletics, studying, being in a fraternity.

And I'm proud that I've been sober for 11 months.

That's a huge one. I had to go through therapy, and especially if you're a man, that can feel a little demoralizing. You gotta swallow your pride. Sometimes you don't think you need help, but everybody needs help along the way. I was able to accept that.

What changed your life?

Life changes every single day, man. You can't just focus on one big thing. You have to be able to pivot.

Someone could be in a car wreck. Maybe you have to take time off. Maybe a project at work blows up in your face and you have to go a different direction. Maybe someone walks into your life that you never thought — a girl, a guy, whoever — and you have to put your hopes and dreams on hold. But if you truly love them, you support them.

That's life. You pivot.

What are you grateful for today?

That I'm alive. I'm here. I have my health. I'm able to get out of bed.

Don't take anything for granted. When my sister broke her foot at her wedding, she told me: don't take for granted even the simplest things, like walking up the steps.

I'm grateful for family. For friends. The little things.

What does success mean to you?

Working with a team, success to me is when my coworkers succeed. I'm only as good as my team. Be humble, be thankful, be grateful. You help them, they help you.

Success is when your work helps others around you come together as a group to accomplish a common goal. Whether that's professionally or in a family situation — working together as a community to achieve something. That's success to me.

What's one thing you do every day that changed your life?

Control what you can control. Let go of everything else.

It's like part of the Serenity Prayer — there are some things that are just completely out of your hands. You have to realize that. You can't control everything.

One door closes, another door opens. You have to be able to pivot.

I can control whether I have gas in the car. I can't control if I get a flat tire from hitting a nail. So do everything preventative that you can to make things successful, but accept what's outside your control.

What's the difference between who you were and who you are now?

When I was younger, I was all about the party life. Social life. I was drinking a ton. It cost me a job. It cost me a relationship.

At some point, something clicked. It's time to be a grown-up. Get your sh*t together. Get a job. Be successful. Build relationships with other people.

And here's one of the biggest things I learned: Be kind to everybody, because you don't know what people are going through.

That lady at the gym who's skinny? Maybe she had an eating disorder. That guy at the grocery store? Maybe his wife's battling breast cancer. That girl who seems really sad? Maybe her pet just died.

You never know. So don't shoot your mouth off. Don't be rude. Talk to people.

What's worth fighting for in your life?

Family. Friends. Chasing your dreams.

And I've realized as I've gotten older — I'd much rather be happy than rich. I'd rather have a job that pays me $50,000 and be happy than make $150,000 and be miserable.

What is it, like 70-80% of people in this country go to work and hate it? Because they need the paycheck. I don't want to be like that.

Find something you love. If you find something you love, you'll work hard at it. People will recognize it. The money will find you.

If you're that good, someone's gonna hire you. It doesn't matter if you're a teacher or a custodian — if you're that good, someone's gonna find you.

Finish the sentence: Life is...

Beautiful.

Life does not suck. Life is awesome. So just be happy, man.

I know we all have our rough days — everybody's got rough days — but life's too short to be pissed off all the time.

Be grateful that you have another day on the planet. Every day you wake up is a miracle. You get an opportunity to do something.

Waking up this morning, I get the opportunity to go see my cousin get married and meet new friends.

Life is awesome.

My Takeaway

Having conversations like this was a reminder of why I started Positive Andy. Real people who have lived through real, tough things and made it through. Or are continuing to work their way through. The key is to never give up, and to keep pushing forward when it seems all is against you. 

Job losses, battles with addiction, the humbling moments. Stark reminders on what truly matters in this life. 

What hit you hardest from this conversation? Drop a comment below. 

And if you're going through something right now — remember what he said: every day you wake up is a miracle. You get an opportunity to do something.

Don't waste it.

— Andy

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